How creating a support plan can ease your mental load

Key takeaways

• Completing a support plan can help you recognise that help is there if you need it. Even if you don't need help now, knowing it's there can benefit your emotional wellbeing. 
• Making time to map support now can help you identify gaps early, giving you time to find the right support before you need it.

Any parent who lives away from their support network will tell you how hard it is to raise a family without them. As a society, we used to rely on a ‘village’ to raise a child, but in recent times parenthood has become more individualised, often creating an unfair burden on one parent.   

When you become a working parent, your support networks become more important than ever before. Friends and family can be great sources of support. Still, not everyone has access to these groups for various reasons like a breakdown in relationships or distance. The good news is there are many types of support for working parents. Ideally, at the point of returning to work, you have connected with support networks like parent groups (if not, check out Mama Tribe or Dads Group Inc to find local groups), playgroups, and neighbours and looked at paid options such as nannies, childcare and possibly investigated outsourcing some household duties. 

What is a support plan and why do I need one?  

A support plan is a document that helps you think about what support you need to navigate parenthood smoothly, and identify any gaps that you need to fill. It is particularly useful when you are planning a return to work, as you’ll likely have a few unexpected challenges like a sick baby on your first day back, or a client meeting that keeps you at work beyond childcare pickup time.   

In the throes of a crisis or a run of sleepless nights, you may find it hard to know where to turn, and having done this thinking ahead of time makes the decision an easier one. Even if you don’t take it up, it can benefit your emotional wellbeing to know you have people you can call on should you need it in future. 

What do I need to cover in my support plan?  

Childcare strategies   

Think about your childcare strategy in place for your return. Set up some days for your child to get used to the care arrangements before your return to work. Do a couple of dry runs to test out the traffic and any other unexpected challenges. This is where keeping in touch (KIT) days can come in handy. Plan to return a few days in your first week back, gradually building up to your full return to ease into the transition.  

Drop off and care responsibilities  

Make a plan to work out who is responsible for pick up and drop off each day. If your child is attending shorter days or preschool, consider having a grandparent or friend with kids at the centre to provide additional care for a few hours.  

Emergency contacts/plans 

Have an emergency backup plan in place for when your child is sick or you are delayed for pickup. Even if you have a partner you may need additional help on occasion. If family doesn’t live close by, consider a neighbour, another parent at the same childcare centre, or a friend who might work from home in the area.  Don’t forget to add them to the authorised pick-up list at your daycare centre.  

Division of domestic duties 

If you have a partner, have a conversation about the division of household duties. It may be helpful to determine which chores are critical and which you can outsource to someone else, such as a cleaner.  

Making time for self 

As parents, we often put the needs of our children ahead of our own wellbeing. Incorporating some time for yourself, be it for exercise, catching up with mates, relaxation, or hobbies, will allow you to recharge those depleted batteries and be a better parent for it.  

Making time for your partner, if applicable 

Planned time together, such as date nights, can be helpful to break out of a rut or negative thought patterns and discuss the myriad challenges of raising children. Even if all you do is discuss the baby’s latest milestones, this is still quality time together! 

Making sure people in the household are getting enough sleep. 

Think about other areas that may need extra planning. For example, if your child is not sleeping through the night, how you navigate night time caregiving. If you have a partner, it might be sharing the night interruptions throughout the week. Or if you’re a single parent, requesting flexibility to start work later or work from home when needed.  

Psychological support, as needed 

The e-COPE Directory lists the details of services and accredited professionals who provide support, treatment and/or management of the emotional and mental health problems that can occur before pregnancy, during pregnancy and/or in the period after having a baby. In particular, services are provided to help with depression in pregnancy and postnatal depression and anxiety in pregnancy and postnatal anxiety. 

Download your free Support Plan template here (for registered users only). 

With your support plan underway, it's time to think about revisiting your plans once the baby arrives. Because as you’ve probably learned by now, the one thing babies are not is predictable.