How to cope with fatigue

Key takeaways

• Prioritise sleep where you can. That might mean switching off Netflix early so you can get some shut-eye.
• Divide and conquer. If there are two of you in the relationship, share the load, and give each other time to sleep.
• Be mindful of when your fatigue is putting you at risk, and make allowances for that. 

During the initial stages of parenthood, exhaustion is simply part of the deal. Broken nights are unavoidable in those early months as you struggle on while punctuating your sentences with yawns. But sleep deprivation can have more serious effects than merely trebling your caffeine intake – it can also impact your physical and mental health. 

Researchers from Deakin University found a significant association between fatigue and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. They also found exhaustion could create relationship problems. 

Despite all this, most parents still attempt to soldier on in silence. But you don’t have to just grin and bear it. While it might be almost impossible to avoid fatigue in the early months of parenthood, you can take decisive action to limit the damage.  

1. Control the controllables 

Sadly, you’re somewhat powerless to control whether your baby sleeps through the night or wakes up screaming on an hourly basis. What you can do is look after the other key factors that contribute to your overall wellbeing.  

Self-care can sound a bit fluffy and indulgent. But it’s worth making a concerted effort to ensure that you’re eating well, staying hydrated and getting some exercise. When forced to manage with a high level of fatigue, you need to shore up these basics in order to function and feel vaguely human.   

During this challenging time when sleep is more precious than ever, it’s important to prioritise it, too. It’s not rocket science, but just going to bed an hour or two earlier rather than getting lost in another Netflix binge will help limit the extent of your sleep deficit.  

2. Make it a team effort 

No doubt your partner is also exhausted right now. But that doesn’t mean you should hide how you’re getting on. Get smart and figure out how you can team up to ease the collective burden. Perhaps you can negotiate alternate lie-ins on the weekend? Or divide and conquer by taking afternoon shifts with the baby so that one of you can snatch a quick nap?  

Don’t be too proud to call in the reinforcements either. Let your inner circle know that your family needs extra support right now and make specific suggestions to friends and relatives about what they can do to help. If you’re not sure where to start, use this resource to build your support crew. 

If your baby’s sleep patterns are causing stress at home, you may want to explore your options in terms of getting extra support. Consider speaking with your GP. There’s lots of different support out there, and they can help you find something that suits your needs.  

3. Forewarned is forearmed 

If you’ve slept less than six hours in the previous 24 (or less than 16 in the last 48 hours) then you’re considered to be at high risk of fatigue.  Stay mindful of the effects and consider modifying your routine accordingly. Instead of driving, perhaps you can get a lift to work with a colleague or catch public transport.  

Also be aware that, statistically, new parents are shown to hit peak exhaustion around 12 weeks after their baby’s arrival. Get creative about what you can do to ease the load on yourself during this challenging time. For example, you might consider temporarily signing up to a meal delivery service to take one thing off your family’s domestic to-do list. Accept that certain things will take a backseat for a while and moderate your demands both on yourself and others.  

4. Get informed 

Handling the pressures of work on limited sleep isn’t easy. So you’d be crazy not to take advantage of anything your workplace can offer to make those early months (a little) more bearable. Taking your parental leave is one thing, but you should also explore what other flexibility options are available. After all, parents of young children are entitled flexible work under the Fair Work Act. Have a conversation with your manager to make sure they’re aware of your situation. Remember: They don’t want the liability of a barely functional worker either, so it’s in both your interest to find ways to navigate this temporary period with as little disruption as possible.