How and when to have that first keeping-in-touch conversation

Key takeaways

• Keeping in touch can protect against mental illness, foster loyalty and facilitate a smoother transition back to work.  

• Ensure your Keeping in Touch Plan is flexible and adapted to the desires of the parent.  

• The goal of keeping in touch is to strike a balance where the employee can feel connected without being burdened with work pressure.  

• Depending on the circumstances, it can be good to reiterate that you support flexible return-to-work policies.  

Keeping in touch is incredibly important for staff on long parental leave. Social connection not only offers a protective factor against anxiety and depression but also encourages trust and loyalty to the organisation and helps facilitate a smoother transition back when the time comes. 

It's hard for new parents to know how they will feel once the child arrives and how connected they want to be. Some new parents may crave the connection to work, while others may feel overwhelmed and want to completely switch off.  And some might change their preferences afer the baby arrives. All of that is fine – there's no one-size-fits-all approach here. 

Ideally, once you're reading this article, you will have already put in place a Keeping in Touch Plan with your employee (but if you haven’t, it’s not too late). We pick up just after the baby's birth or adoption has taken place. You may think it's best to leave them be, but this milestone is a key moment to show your support without intruding.  

Congratulating a parent on the birth or adoption of their child is often the first communication you will have with them after their departure. It's a meaningful way to establish the type of connection you will have throughout their parental leave. Make it count by acknowledging this moment with a gift, flowers, or a meal delivery voucher sent to their hospital or home. 

If a staff member has indicated that they prefer not to be contacted during their parental leave, it’s important to respect that.  It isn't an indictment of the organisation or their dedication to their job. As many new parents can attest, there's nothing more unpredictable than a newborn. Ensuring the plan is flexible allows employees to change their minds throughout their leave, which is entirely normal. 

Timing is everything  

When you have the first conversation will be different for everyone. Following best practice guidelines for KIT days, other than offering your congratulations, employers should refrain from contacting employees in the first six to eight weeks of leave to allow for parental bonding and adjustment. You will need to be guided by them about what time is most appropriate.   

Check in  

How are they doing? Are they coping OK with their new addition? Do they have support around them? You don't have to be a counsellor, but asking about their new life can do wonders for their emotional wellbeing. If you sense your employee may be struggling, you can gently remind them about the free COPE resources and make sure they know about the free 24-hour PANDA helpline.  

You can position it like, 'I know things were hectic towards the end of your leave, but did you end up signing up for the Ready to Cope newsletter? [Colleague's name] found it really useful in the postnatal period. I’ll send you the links so you don't have to dig it out of your emails.’ 

Find a balance  

The goal of keeping in touch is to strike a balance where the employee can feel connected without being burdened with work pressure or stress. Now they are on leave, ask them if their keeping in touch preferences have changed. They might like to attend some team meetings (note they will often need to be able to bring their baby along) rather than attending a conference. Or it might mean being included in emails about a project or company updates. Be OK with the levels of connection your employee wishes for at this stage, and make sure you know what a KIT Day is, and how they can be used.  

Talk about flexibility  

You may want to raise this a little further into the parental leave period, but if your workplace allows for flexibility, it’s a good idea to make it clear that you support flexible return-to-work options. If you can’t support flexible work, it could still be worth talking about what a supportive work environment can look like on the return to work.  

Side note: flexibility helps foster loyal, motivated, and productive employees. Discuss ideas that can support their return such as a phased transition or moving meetings online or at other times so they can make it to childcare drop-off and pick-ups or earlier or later start times to accommodate sleepless nights.  

While none of the detail around keeping-in-touch with your employee is rocket science, making an intentional, meaningful and respectful effort helps facilitate a smooth transition. It gives new parents a sense of wellbeing and engagement during what can be a lonely time.  

Next up: We look at your legal obligations to parents in the workplace.